Stuck In the In Between

I’m used to being the in between placement for my babies. I’m after their first family, but before they’re reunified or sent to live with a family member or a foster family. A lot about being an ESH home is about waiting in between.

It’s about starting up medical referrals that I probably won’t be able to see through. Setting up therapies and Regional Center services that won’t start until months after my baby leaves my care.

But the little girl who is currently in my care has been in my care for almost 10 months. TEN MONTHS. That’s an obscene amount of time to be waiting in the in between.

At first, it was her health. She came to me as a relatively healthy baby, but she developed some health complications that kept her in and out of the hospital a few months after her birth. I was fine being her in between while we got her healthy and to a stable point. It’s one of my favorite things about being a foster mom.

But now her health has been stable (or at least as stable as we can ask of a medically-fragile baby) for months, and she’s still stuck with me. The judge has put in a stay in place order while some things are worked out legally, so baby cannot be moved to another home while we wait, whether that be with family or a foster family.

So she’s stuck waiting forever for medical procedures to be approved by the court because I don’t have medical rights. We’re stuck waiting for Regional Center because no one in her life has educational rights, so we can’t begin early intervention through them.

She’s stuck waiting for a forever family because this judge, who thinks they’re doing what is best for her, won’t allow her to be moved while they wait to make a decision about her future.

So in the meantime, she’s getting more attached, and I’m learning how to handle an almost-toddler again. (I’m no good once they start moving and talking, just ask my friends.) She’s stuck with me for however long the stay in place order stays in effect, and I don’t know if that will be days or months.

I’ve filled out the forms, I’ve talked to the social workers and the lawyers, and there’s nothing much else I can do. All I can do right now is continue to love her as she’s stuck in the in between.