I’ve said goodbye to two babies almost back to back, so things have been busy in my household, and I have not been able to write. I also started a new graduate program and things are picking up at work as the school year starts again.
That being said, I thought it was important to go back to the idea of permission slips for parents of medically-complex children. I learned about permission slips through an early intervention parent support group I’ve been atending weekly when I have a baby. Below are the top three permission slips I’m trying to follow for myself.
I give myself permission to lower the bar from “perfect” to “present.”
As a recovering perfectionist, I love this permission slip. It reminds me that perfection was never something I was supposed to achieve as a finite human, and the goal I should be aiming for is full presence. If I am pre-occupied trying to be perfect, my babies will not have the attachment figure they need.
I give myself permission to not know everything.
I am waiting to hear back from a social worker if I will have another baby next week who has some pretty complex medical challenges that I know almost nothing about. I’ve done a quick deep dive into some of her diagnoses, but I don’t know everything about what her possible life outcomes are or what she might need. And that’s okay. I’ll learn as I go, just as I’ve done in the past.
I give myself permission to treat myself with the same compassion I offer my child.
I have so much compassion for the babies that come into my care, but I do not offer the same grace to myself too often. It is something I have struggled with my whole life, the high standards I want to hold myself to without holding others. But the more compassionate I am to myself, the more compassionate I can be to others.
There are countless of permission slips that parents need for themseles, and I have a whole list of them from my parent support group. If you’ve made it this far in my blog, what is one permission slip you need for yourself right now?
ESH Mom Life 