It’s an odd concept to most people – fostering babies, and then giving them to their forever family. No longer having any say in their life, and in many cases, no longer having an idea what is going on in their life.
I always love it when I get to stay in touch with my foster babies, but that rarely happens. On the hard days, it can feel like what I do is inconsequential because I’m not in a space where I can keep any of my babies forever.
But on the days when the darkness seems overwhelming, I remember this quote from Bruce Perry. “The single-most powerful predictor of outcomes in mental health domains that we looked at in later life was related to relational connection in the first two months of an individual’s life. That’s not to say that adversity wasn’t important, but relational health always outweighed the impact of adversity.”
In his book What Happened to You?, Dr. Perry explains that the first two months of a child’s life can have a larger impact on their mental health than the next twelve years. The first two months – that’s usually the time I have with my babies.
I don’t get to see my babies grow up, but I do get to spend those first days of life with them. So I remind myself of this quote all the time. When I get sad or overwhelmed, I tell myself that I can only do what I can do, but what I can do has a big impact if I do it right.
I also have a life verse that helps me enjoy the time I have with my babies. “Do not despise these small beginnings, for the Lord rejoices to see the work begin” (Zechariah 4:10 NLT). Small beginnings – that perfectly describes my time with my babies.
So although I do not get to see the fruit of my labor, I can return to the neuroscience to remind myself that I am still making a difference. Those sleepless night, the kangaroo care, each bottle prepared, and every early intervention therapy appointment, they are all worth it.
There is fruit from the seeds that I am planting in these small lives, even if it is others who get to see and harvest the ripened fruit.
ESH Mom Life 